Unfriends

The one where no one came over. We didn't fall out, we just stopped showing up, and now we've forgotten how.

You were going to text. You thought about it on the way home, again while making dinner, and by 9pm you'd decided it was too late to suggest anything for this week and too early to suggest anything for next week. So you didn't. They didn't either. They're in the same loop. And before you think "understandable," can I draw your attention to two things: you're not getting any younger. And we're halfway through 2026.

This is how Britain is losing its friendships. Not in arguments, not in betrayals. In a thousand small decisions not to bother, each one completely reasonable, each one pulling the thread a little further.

Konfidant tracks at-home socialising weekly. In two years, 1.2 million fewer Britons had friends round. Hosting is dropping. Deferring meet-ups to every few months is on the rise. This is a pivotal shift, and we will regret it deeply. Our tight grip on control is costing us the people we're controlling it for.

We've turned our homes into sanctuaries, and the price is showing up on the doorstep. 45% of us would never turn up at someone's house unannounced. 35% would rather stay home alone than have guests. In lockdown, being apart broke our hearts. Now we're choosing it. We're also less happy and more bored, which should tell us something.

Without the casual pop-in, more time passes between seeing people, and the next meet-up carries more weight. What do we say? How do we start? Awkwardness about being invited is up from 37% to 42% in under a year. A coffee and a catch-up now has the emotional choreography of a job interview. Fingers crossed you get the role.

In lockdown, being apart broke our hearts. Now we're locking people out.

Ask people what they want and they say spontaneous, making memories, trying new things. Ask what they're doing and they say safe, scheduled, same faces. Somewhere along the way we started glamourising cancellation. Made it chic to make no effort. Why are we so why are we so obsessed with playing it cool, making it effortless? How many times have you said you’ve got to meet my bestie, they don’t give two hoots about anything or anyone?

Advice to brands: growth sits with whoever helps us open the door again. Get us in a room. Give us a little stimulus, a light buzz of a crowd to piggyback on, something easy to say yes to. And design for how we live now, shrink the guest list to four, make it easy to ‘pay your own way’. Finally, make it feel possible - take the planning off the table, and make showing up feel doable.

Advice to you: message first.